Thursday, October 17, 2013
This This This
Someone should want to be with you 100%, even if that 100% doesn’t immediately come with a guarantee of longevity. If someone isn’t in it with two feet, are just content to dabble their foot in the pool when they feel like it then you are missing a crucial thing that should be part of any intimate relationship, official or not, and that’s consistency. I’m not saying they need to be ready to dive into the deep end straight away, but they have at least got to be fully immersed in the shallow end. And I’m not saying that consistency necessarily means you need to be texting constantly, but you need to be comfortable in yourself amidst your times of non-communication that the situation is stable and constant and if you’re not then something is wrong, and you gotta figure that shit out. Why are you feeling insecure? Have you put expectations on this guy that are unfounded? What do you want from this situation? Can you even talk about it with him?! And if you can’t then you’ve got to get yourself to a point where you can. Be clear, be honest and be truthful in your expectations. If they don’t match his then talk about it, try figure it out but never be someone’s emotional doormat.
Everyone’s confused, everyone has their own emotional baggage to deal with, but if you are grown up enough to engage in a one-on-one intimate relationship with another person, consistently, then you should sure as hell be grown up enough to discuss with them your insecurities and issues.
If you feel you are bruised from a previous relationship and not ready to commit then simply DO NOT put yourself out there under a facade of emotional availability for someone to come along and fall into. It’s just not fair. Casual sex and hookups are all fine and well but to actively pursue someone knowing you aren’t able to offer anything, even potentially, is not right. So boys, for crying out loud, save us both the hassle and sort yourself out before you ask me on that drinks date please?
- so relevant soo so relevant