Yeah those moments, are ten times more frustrating than even having someone else to put the blame on.. Because chances are, you had a feeling it was coming and you ignored it. Chances are there was more than one sign where you should have been like stop being so fucking stupid and you ignored it.
That's me right now.
I'm not mad. Well I am mad, at myself. For not listening to the red flags, or the yellow borderline red flags that popped up every so often.
No one on this planet wants to a relationship. And I don't know if I even want one, I don't ever know what I want. But why is it that when they wanna make it known that they don't want one, things have to get so weird. Who cares. Like okay cool, that's good to know. I never said that's what I wanted but alright if we're going to go there thanks for telling me.
I mean I wouldn't mind a relationship, but that's not the point. The point is, I thought that was a possibility,
and I was cool if things just ran it's course, but I was never gonna discuss it. Now he brought up the R word, which I had a feeling what his feelings were towards it, but it's always more weird after talking about it like this.
I fucking give up.
I just want to sleep till st. patty's. Then after that sleep till summer. Then repeat.