I posted don't ignore the red flags for a reason. But I'm always the type of person who doesn't listen and is recklessly fearless enough to keep going. I keep going and push the limit to the worst possible outcome. I haven't done that as of yet, but it's normally how it goes. Then I hate myself for it. It's a sick little cycle.
I feel hopeless in a way. I feel disgusted that it happens so consistently.
I can't let it get so terrible this time though. Not again. Noooope.