Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013? What the fuck was that

I've been avoiding doing this. Discussing the past year I've had, I can't exactly say why. I think it was just continuous disappointments, and emotional lows over and over again from march on ward. Which is pretty much the entire year that I didn't want to really have to think about. A lot has happened in the relationship world, the job world, the what I want to do with my life world. It was hard, I have to admit. I feel like 2013 was a giant test. To see what I can handle and how I handle these things. There were points where I didn't think I would feel any better. I literally didn't think I would feel happy again and that happened more than once because of multiple people. Who thinks like that? I know I can blame it on strong feelings but I'm not proud of those days.

I was fired for the first time which was terrible and a true demonstration of my character and what kind of jobs just aren't meant for me. I also started to take this blog seriously as an outlet for sharing my writing. I'm proud of myself for that.

It's been a long time I've been posting here, it's sort of become my child. Consisting of all these crazy moments I've been going through. All the ups and downs. It's crazy that I've even begun to have the confidence to share it to begin with. Granted not many people I know personally read it. It's still a step in the right direction. I realized journalism is the main goal but what I want to do with my future is to write. I want to be able to do what I admire so much about the people who move me with their writing. Whether that be in a future book I plan to write, or on blogs, or for television, magazines. Whatever that is. I just want to never give up on this craft.

Part of me wishes I could just forget about pretty much all of 2013 to be honest. I would love to. But then I would be forgetting everything I've learned. All the mistakes I've made. The shit I pulled from start to finish. Those are the things that are important and it would be a waste to forget them.

Don't get me wrong I had some great times this year. I wouldn't have even survived without my friends either, they were truly all heaven sent. I was able to do a lot of awesome things which I'm truly thankful for. It's just terrible all the moments I was hurting are the ones the resonate the most.

I believe 2014 is going to be a good year. I do. I'm going to carry some great lessons with me into this year. I'm going to make the best out of it, no matter what. I plan to focus on what's important. Not dwell on the past, that I can't even change anyway and keep moving forward. I agree that being happy is important but when I feel any other emotion that isn't happiness I want to feel it all, not fight it in order to push through it faster. I want to remember that my happiness comes first. I want to find someone that totally agrees with how awesome I am, thinks nothing less and vice versa.

The next 365 is about a whole new mindset.

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