Before I get into this, I have a confession to make. Midnight Memories is like my favourite right now. I'm not even going to say who's album this is, google it. That's how much of a guilty pleasure it is. I truly think they're all beautiful, so I'm shocked how much I'm enjoying these songs. Anyways, moving on.
Today I asked my brotha from anotha motha for his opinion, because god knows girls need to ask a guy for their opinion every once in a while. As frustrating as they are making when I think they shouldn't even be breathing our air, the guy friends know what they're talking about sometimes. So I wanted to ask a guy I'm interested in if we're on the same page basically. I wanted an opinion on if it sounded bad or not/if I should or not. He told me not to, and to just enjoy what's going on. But my argument was, if I think it's going to go somewhere or see potential shouldn't I get to know if he does too or my. My friend said "no.. no you don't. That's defeating the purpose of seeing where things go. That means spontaneity." He ended off with telling me, that's just his opinion, and it could work it could not. Then I realized there's no right option. So fuck it. If I wanna ask I will, if I pussy out, I won't.
This all just reminded me that I was really really going to try that this time. I was going to be more chill, not fall so fast. Be patient blah blah blah all that terribly hard stuff. Honestly though, I have been doing way better this time let me just say that. But it was fun while it lasted cause now I want to figure this shit out. Before I go crazy, and waste time going crazy. Is that such a crime!?
I understand where my bro is coming from, he's also the king at it. I'm so jealous. But then my girlfriends who I've discussed it with all think I should just do it.
The curiosity will rip me apart if I don't do it. But I'll also be upset if it makes things weird. I'm not even scared for a no. Honestly it would save me so much trouble either way, ain't nobody got time for being wondering being confused. I think I just don't want to come off as eager, when I'm simply just curious. I don't want to come off like I'm making this a bigger deal than it actually is, knowing will just dictate my next move. Things will stay the same or I'll walk away.
That's all it is. But shit's gotta be so much more difficult with interpretation, wording and timing. I don't know why I deal with this. I give up on the entire gender.
I don't know why making sure we both want the same thing should be such a big deal. If I want to fucking know, I should be allowed to confidently to find out without breaking any rules and guidelines.