Sunday, September 8, 2013

Let go

There is this blog I found titled 40 days of dating involving two New York based designers who are both good friends, and tired of their dating habits. So they date for 40 days, with rules such as they have to see each other everyday, answer a series of questions everyday, and go to couples therapy for forty days. This is real, it's not scripted or anything like that. And I am absolutely fascinated by it.

I feel like I relate to the girl in more ways, and it makes me so much more interested in how she answers her questions more then his. She can be controlling, negative, scared to be vulnerable, she obsesses over things easily, a hopeless romantic, who jumps into relationships (or expects it) frequently. Although I still read his regardless cause they're both interesting. They just both have good outlooks on different situations, they're different sides fascinates me even more.

On day thirty-seven, the girl Jessica wrote on her side:

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
We talked about how empowering it was for me to “let go” a few weeks ago and to stop trying to define the relationship. In the past I have put too much pressure on myself to determine if the person I was dating was right long-term. If a guy didn’t give himself to me wholeheartedly, I would give up on the relationship out of fear of failure. I couldn’t enjoy dating in the moment.

This stood out to me a lot. If there was ever an issue I had, that related to Jessica's dating habits it was that one. When she says, we talked about, she is referring to their therapy session. Any way, I feel like she was literally speaking to me. That's the biggest problem I have. I realize it, and by then it's already too late because I've already been in this controlling pressure adding rampage. I bet it would feel wonderful to let go, but my first instinct, isn't that. Well, relationship talking. I really need to remember this next time because by the time I'm reminded it's gone. Then that's when it hits me that I really did enjoy exactly what it was, whatever it was, weather it was going no where or not. But then it's over.

I need to staple this onto my forehead or make a wall sized mural of it in my bedroom or something.
This also brings me to my next thought, it would also be awesome to talk to a therapist I think. I feel like it would feel amazing in the end, it would be positive and enlightening. I look at it as a way to gain a new perspective, it would be awesome to say things you normally wouldn't say to even your closest friends or family. I would love to do that.

Someone want to get on that task for me ?

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