Sunday, September 8, 2013

In addition

From 40 days of dating
How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?
We continued to talk on the grass. He said he didn’t think it was a defence mechanism with me, but that he didn’t think we were right for each other. He said something about me rubs him the wrong way romantically. He said my strong feelings for him deeply worry him, and, like usual, I was moving too quickly. He said if we continued to date he would just fall back into his old habits and that he didn’t want to hurt me. He said I deserve more.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?
I told him I understood. However, I can’t deny feeling rejection and pain. I already loved him as a friend. After I allowed myself to open up to him and let my guard down, I’ve started to fall for him romantically. It seems I’ve repeated the same pattern again. I opened up too quickly, empathized too deeply, and I have another failed relationship to add to the list. I don’t know what to do or think at all anymore.


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