I've never known how bad I want something, till it becomes so fucking hard to make it happen. I'm super impulsive. Contemplating my desire, lasts about 10 seconds. But this isn't coming that easy lately. So I need to stop and think, if any of this bullshit is even worth it, if my stressing, worrying and insecurity is worth it and why it would be. Reasons are constantly flowing through my head. Back and forth. And I currently have nothing else to occupy my mind with. So this isn't a fun little point in time I'm in at all.
It's like I see the possibility for something so awesome, and I can't let it go.