Sunday, May 19, 2013

how does this dating thing work again?

Today I spent the evening with someone I've been texting for quit a long time. Well the big deal is, that it was the first time we had hung out after talking for a significant amount of time. I'd had already been super interested in getting to know this person before today. And I understand speaking to someone through a distant form of communication such as text message, is absolutely nothing like real life. Therefore I tried my best not to get my hopes up, that the conversation, and how comfortable it was to be the same. But it turned out to not be so different.

I've always found people I'm interested in to have a good amount of intelligence. A quality I look for in someone and this person holds that quality to the highest degree out of probably anyone that I know. It's one thing I also find incredibly attractive about them as well. He checks off in all the other boxes, but we all know sometimes that just isn't enough. This time it's more than enough.

It's terrifying to feel so much like you want to know everything about someone. I feel a sense of vulnerability again that I haven't felt in a long time. Well with anyone new at least. That's a feeling that's lingered for many years with specific people in my life. Eventually it sort of turned old and stale and I don't even pay attention to it any more. Right now it's fresh and alive, and it scares me just to the think that this person now has the power to make me feel sad, and desperate any minute. I mean, not that this person is aware of their power as of yet, but they could have this happen and not even realize they're doing it all the same.

I've been waiting so long to spend time with this person. I can't believe I'm back at home already. I literally just want to go back and do it all over again. Not because it wasn't great, I just feel like it all happened so fast.

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