Wednesday, February 5, 2014

I'm actually the biggest mess

Today my good friend came to me with a crisis in her relationship. Now naturally she would have because we're so close.. But I also know she felt more inclined to because I've done and been through the same exact thing. We won't go into the details of it. I'll just leave it at that.

Any way, she was constantly asking me what to do. Lord knows I didn't have any idea what to do when I was in the same situation. I acted quickly and just ripped the band-aid off. My decision allowed for me to suffer as well and I wasn't let off easy in my solution it by any means.

I tried to point out different things she should take into account while making her decision, as there were a number of options to take. But I couldn't confidently tell her what to do. No matter what kind of advice I tell anyone I don't like to flat out tell them what to do. As a friend the most I can do or like to do is be there for them and help evaluate every aspect of the situation so it's been well thought out. Even if it's not what they want to hear.

It just got me thinking like gurrrlll, I am the definition of a mess already. Every way you can interpret the term mess, that's me. I should not be giving anyone any advice. I emotionally don't have my shit together. I don't know what I want, ever. And I make some of the most irrational, hardly thought out, terrible decisions on a daily basis. That's just the reality of my life. I've learned to accept it and try to tell myself, I'm learning.

That's one of the last things I said to my friend, I told her don't beat yourself up for it. We all fuck up in many different ways. But I can promiseeeee you, you will learn from this and because you're feeling this way it will only teach you something in the future.

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