Monday, December 9, 2013

What we had was unbeatable

So many quotes lately, but I'm okay with that because I have't been able to put into words how I'm feeling lately. Or at least in a way that will make it sound different or more evolved if I were to keep writing about it. My mind is so cluttered with regret, homelessness, and desperation that sometimes I can't even sleep because of it.

The funny thing is, when I think about my desire to work things out with my ex I don't even think about him seeing another person at all. That's barely crossed my mind. I solely think about our relationship and what we had and that I want it back. That's all I think about. All the time. My mindset is entirely based off everything we worked so hard for, for so long and that I don't want it with anyone else. I say it's funny because I've wasted so much time being angry about them, writing about it. But I guess it's safe to say now that I just simply don't care any more. Like I acknowledge that it could be going on but wanting to fix things doesn't come from a territorial standpoint. It comes from a: this a person who makes me so fucking happy, it's been eight months and I still feel the same way standpoint. From a: I thought we could have worked things out or started too at some point or in the near future but that hasn't happened yet and I'm scared to lose it all, place.

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