Friday, December 20, 2013

serious change of focus

I really want to start getting my writing out there and just writing more in general. Not solely on this blog but for other websites as well. Or at least forcing myself to try and submit and keep trying and keep submitting. Even if they're constantly rejected. It'll force me to try harder and not get so sloppy and lazy. I'll be able to learn a lot from doing this. So I'm only hoping I can get serious about it. I want to start focusing on making myself better by not forgetting what I want to do and accomplish. I've allowed things and people that aren't important to the big picture of my life push aside what I would like to become my priority. Therefore the next step is taking writing for an audience seriously.

It hit me today after I lurked and saw a photo on instagram that really struck a nerve. It doesn't matter that he's moved on. This is all for the better. He's not meant to be in my life any more. From now I'm going to think about me, what I want, who I want to be and working hard to move forward to where I want to be. I want to channel all my emotion into something productive so I can start making a name for myself. I want to really have something to show for all this time I spend at home, or all of this bullshit I go through.

I need to stop looking at being single and alone so often as a bad thing or this curse I'm trying to rid myself of. I've said it before probably a million times but there needs to come a point where I'm okay being by myself. Like entirely. Where I no longer am in this default need of a significant other. That's where this new mission comes into play.

Also, fuck you instagram and my lack of will power to lurk people and see shit I don't wanna see.  

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