Sunday, December 22, 2013

My book

My best friend is actually really encouraging me to write this book that I have in mind. I told my friend about it today jokingly, cause I don't know how people will take it if I tell them I'm seriously going to write it. But she thought it was genius. That made me so happy, she thought my idea was so great and hilarious. I'm definitely going to get on that soon.

I'm also trying to purge all of this anger, sadness and bitterness while I'm still feeling any of it. I'm not going to beat myself of for feeling it. I'm just going to let it come, embrace it. Embrace that once again I'm being a person and then heal from there. That's the only thing to do. Fighting it won't do any good and will only bring on more negativity. I deserve to be happy, I deserve someone who will continue to care about me and love me no matter what and I deserve to have friends who aren't shady as fuck (who also don't even have the balls to talk to me about it might I add. If that doesn't prove they were shady from the jump then I don't know what does).

It feels better this time because as opposed to another person I had a hard time with, I was always hoping wishing they would contact me. But this time around, the email is blocked. The number is blocked. And I don't have to worry myself over it anymore. 

Damn my power just went out from this day after tomorrow business going on. I thought I lost this. Thank you blogger for automatically saving drafts. 

As I was saying, I'd be lying if I said I'm not wondering at all if he's tried but that's just how I am. The fact that I know he can't makes it an innocent curiosity. Cause I'll literally never know. 

I might have said this before but I wish it was like sex and the city when Big sent all those emails every day and her assistant saved them! And she found them after. That was the best. 

As you can see I can be bitter but still the hopeless romantic I've always been at the same time.

But that's not real life. And I'm forcing myself to move on to bigger and better things. 

It was an experience, I learned a lot about myself and life but that chapter has ended. 

Get it, chapter.. My book. 
You'll see when it's done. 

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