Bitter

Another situation gone to shit.. This is another one for my future book coming out that will gather and discuss all the amounts of rejection I face and the different boys who brought it upon me. I might as well. There are enough people, for my to write a book about it. And no a thin little one, a novel. I'm only 21, the list is only getting longer too. Get ready for it. I need to start writing these down too, cause I literally can feel myself forgetting. That's how many there are! I think I'm going to forget!

This time around I don't even know what went wrong. Normally I can pin-point where I just about fucked up, this time. I don't know. That's what makes me even more bitter about it. Yeah, I just admitted to being bitter. Do I anticipate this happening every single time? Yes. But does it still feel like crap? Hell yeah. Am I putting up a front like I'm "over it"? YUP.

But such is life. I'm told I can do better and to stay positive. But fuck that noise. I don't even care any more. No body is good enough, and I have no faith in the whole gender... That's the bitterness talking.

I'm also missing someone else. My ex turned best friend, turned continued best friend. And that almost brought me to tears how much I miss him tonight. I want to give up so badly. But I mentally, and physically can't. I just can't. We're supposed to be able to last longer than this. I believe we can. I believe this isn't the end. So I told him I'd be here when he's ready to have me back in his life, cause there is only so much fighting I can do.