Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Longdistance anything

I actually haven't written about this person yet. He got a one line mention down below actually. But I feel like a person isn't real until I've written about them. Or at least they're nothing to be taken seriously if I haven't. I don't know why I've waited so long this time though cause he's been around for a while. Maybe I'm not trying to get into my old habit of being too eager, and anxious. Maybe I'm still scared to even let myself open up to this person or about this person on here cause that's a sign I've not only got feelings growing but of vulnerability, and weakness. And considering the whole world seems to be on this tag team of hurting me. I'm in no rush to land myself in a situation where those to two things happen.

It's different than anything else I've had to deal with before though. Which is why I chose to mention it now. This is someone I have to wait weeks to see. Who's living in a city, that's a three hour bus ride away. (cause who has their own car though?) I'm not saying it's hard yet, cause we aren't really actually anything. Considering we're always so far away, we text. We text, a lot. And it's different.

I almost saw him today but plans didn't work out. Minus the glimpse of hope I might have seen him today, I'm currently in the middle of waiting like several weeks to see the kid. Our plans today were pretty last minute and set up last night, but because I haven't see him in so long, I still got excited because the waiting is just plain terrible.

Like texting is all awesome. But I feel like we've been texting forever. That's all we do. (I hate talking on the phone and who has time for that) Like what is this. How did I end up in this situation of a long distance anything. I've done a wonderful job of avoiding it so far in life but the luck ran out. And the thing is, it's someone I legitimately want to give a chance too. So I can't even write it off. I'm genuinely curious on what could happen here.

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