Long way to go

I really want to try and get into the habit of trying my best to write everyday. Emphasis on try my best. Normally something only really comes at night. Only at night. Like when I'm trying to fall asleep and I'm too lazy to get up and write it down. But I've been doing good with remembering. Last two pieces I've written I submitted to a website. So we'll see how that goes. No details as of yet, just in case I hit disappointing news. But I'm hopefully. If anything I'll keep trying, no matter what.

They're two submissions that are pretty personal, one is personal but it's nothing super juicy or anything it's just what's been going on and how I've been dealing with it. That sounds like a terrible explanation but you'll have to wait and see. If they don't get published they're going straight up here. The next one is actually personal. It's about missing people. That was the most obvious description I could have given.

I don't want to be cocky, or get my hopes up. But some of the stuff I'm most proud of is the stuff that's extra personal. So having it shared would be amazing, it's just having the people I actually know seeing it. I don't know who checks this out, but there are a lot of people that don't so I feel like I have so much freedom and confidence to express every thought, in every inch of my mind. Because I don't think my friends and family are reading it. My point is, if I want to get my writing on the "big stage" of other websites, I'm going to have to open up. Which means sharing my excitement and how proud I am with those in my life means they're going to see that. I don't know if I'm necessarily scared for these moments, I try to be as vague as I can be so the people around me won't know who I'm talking about. But what if I'm asked questions? What if people clue in I'm talking about them? What if people thinking I'm whining or too emotional? What if people think I'm exaggerating? Or that it's crap and they can do way better? That last one is probably at the top of the list. Sometimes since I know I have such a long way to go I wonder if people will look at what I write and simply say who am I to call myself a writer, they can do better, anyone can do that. It's a terrible self-defeating thought. And I know if anyone, in my life at least does think that way -- they're cut. But I just want people to be inspired and relate to what I have to say. I want it to bring positivity. Ew. As cheesy as that sounds.

Anyway, cross your fingers for me. That this works out. If it doesn't I'll understand though. Competition is tough out there.