Monday, September 16, 2013

post 101

How do you know when to give up?
On anything, not even relationships and friendships. We all know, that's what brought on this question for me though. What I'm getting at is, how do you know if it's just another battle to fight through and face, or you should really, seriously commit to walking away. I mean if you want something bad enough, you'd fight for it. Right? Like that's what you're supposed to do if to you, it's worth it, right?

I don't even know, I don't even think there is a real answer to this question. Honestly, I might have already asked it on here previously. That's a possibility, but I'm not going to take the time to find out so moving on. I just can't stop wondering, if not letting go, will bring me to the outcome I want. I can't help reminding myself that it was too good to be true, and all of this was never supposed to come as easy as I thought it was going to in the first place.

Now that life is ten times more difficult. Is this the universe testing me? To see how badly I wanted things to work out, or to tell me that I shouldn't have gotten so emotionally invested so fast.

Why couldn't I be taught this lesson with someone else?! Than again, I'd be saying that no matter what.

Currently, I have no choice but to back off and re-evaluate myself. That's my only option right now. So I'm going to take it before I do anything else and turn it into an even bigger pile of shit. I can't do anything to fix the situation. I feel like all these pieces are just broken and mixed up and confused that have just slipped through my fingers. I want so badly to be able to fix it. That I can't, brings me a heavy, heavy amount of anxiety.

Someone just please take me back in time, with the insight I have now. Please, I'm begging. Anyone!

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