Monday, June 17, 2013

My number one supporter.

I don't really have much to say right now. But I'm in the mood to write. Well actually I'm in the mood to do something really creative but I feel like stuck. Like I have no idea how I want to go about it, or anything and writing is the easiest creative outlet for me so that brings me here.

My dad is actually the more supportive and understanding older person ever. Not even bringing this up because father's day just happened. He's always been the most awesome dad ever. I don't need to post an instagram photo, or facebook status that he won't even see, telling everyone that. Anyway, I told him about my dream to move across the country when I finished school on Saturday (before father's day anyway) and he said as long as I can support myself I can live anywhere I want. It was an answer I was expecting from him to be honest, he would never tell me no to something like that, but it was also an answer that brought a smile to my face and made me so proud to like be his daughter. That he believes in me, that I can make this happen and he's behind me every step of the way, I'm just so fucking thankful. Not to mention, the big fat juicy NO I would have received if I told my mom that made it all the more sweeter. The funny thing is, she would interpret it as a question, and say no. When in actuality, I'm not asking her at all. It's a statement, a decision.

So we're just going to put that conversation off for a long time. Since it doesn't need to happen any time soon.

I'm also feeling very useless not working right now. Like incredibly useless. As a human being, apart of society I feel like a fucking waste of space. Work literally does give you purpose, I always thought of it as a pain in the ass but it made me feel like I was contributing something to the world. Now I just rot at home, applying to jobs and watching netflix. It's truly disgusting.

I can't wait for all of this to pass. What helps me handle it is thinking that five or so years from now, I'll look back at this shitty point in my life, and smile that I got through it and think, I knew it! I knew I would make it through it all.

I mean that's what I keep imagining.. I'm no psychic though.

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