Monday, December 30, 2013
Olan Rogers: Eat A Slice With Me Documentary - Inspiring
Anyone who knows me knows that I watch a lot of youtube. I mean, a lot. I've grown to really know what a youtuber needs to do to continuously grab my attention and keep coming back from watching one video. I'd like to think more often than not I can judge sincerity and genuine character. Even people on youtube have said, people can see right through you if you're not yourself, and it's so true.
Olan Rogers is easily one of the absolute most genuine characters I watch on youtube. He doesn't have over a million followers or been on television and all that fancy shit. He literally just does what he loves and has an amazing heart while doing. I wished more than anything to go on this tour and meet him but sadly living in Canada made that too difficult.
This was a free tour across America in which he broke even and took zero profit from. It was all about the experience and being able to hang out with the viewers, who've made it all possible.
He's one of the most inspiring people who entertain me on the internet and you can tell from his shorts, his apparel line and everything he does he puts everything into it. To produce quality work for his viewers.
People like this are people I need to take note of, and need to surround myself with. I want to accomplish big things like this. I want to make a difference, experience new things and give back. I want to do what I love but on a big scale.
I need to work harder.
But thank you Olan for reminding me.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Yeezus
Sticking to the promise of photos...
Kendrick Lamar opened and his performance was amazing. He's so effortlessly poetic. I don't even listen to him really, he's not on my ipod, I dont know any of his songs but he was still a pleasure to watch.
Whoever helped Kanye create his set list is a pure genius. From start to finish, that shit was a masterpiece.
He started off with mostly songs from yeezus which were all perfect.
A ton of theatrics were put into this concert as well. Religion was a giant theme but it's Kanye so even if you don't understand it, you take it in, you move on, and enjoy being in his presence regardless.
Then the older tracks started to come out, transitioning with little to no break in between and everyone at the ACC lost their minds.
This was during all of the lights of course. The show was well beyond worth the money. His set was long and full of so much. There was no need for an encore, just pure gratitude we were even able to experience that.
Easily the best show I've ever been to.. Out of the manyyy, I've attended.
Don't look back
Am I getting lazy or what. I start to feel better and I can't sit down to write any more? I hate myself for it. I hate that I need pain to feel the need to express something. I want to be able to write insightfully no matter what. That's something I want to practice, at least if I want my work to be published on other websites.
Recently I've been able to slowly occupy my mind with other things.. He's been replaced with more relevant things happening right now. Which I think is something that I need to train myself to be better at. Being in the right now. I dwell on things way to much and it's not even the amount I dwell on it. My mind will travel back months ago. Why does that even matter what new thoughts and opinions I have on things I can't even change. Moving forward is something that's so truly important. I commend myself for realizes this but actions speak louder than words.
I also want to write an all around post about my entire year very soon. However I'm magically going to sum up all the shit I've pulled this year.. I'm going to try. Hopefully it'll feel more reflective than nauseating.
Recently I've been able to slowly occupy my mind with other things.. He's been replaced with more relevant things happening right now. Which I think is something that I need to train myself to be better at. Being in the right now. I dwell on things way to much and it's not even the amount I dwell on it. My mind will travel back months ago. Why does that even matter what new thoughts and opinions I have on things I can't even change. Moving forward is something that's so truly important. I commend myself for realizes this but actions speak louder than words.
I also want to write an all around post about my entire year very soon. However I'm magically going to sum up all the shit I've pulled this year.. I'm going to try. Hopefully it'll feel more reflective than nauseating.
The Silver Lining In Getting Your Heart Broken
" By a magical combination of positive thinking, healthy reflection, and time, we begin to really heal. All of a sudden, we can see even the faintest silver lining in the dark, hovering clouds. We stop lying to ourselves and we begin to believe that we will be okay, because we can feel ourselves getting better. We are no longer depressed all the time. We are sad at moments but generally we feel alright. We smile real smiles and laugh honest laughs. When we discuss our ex, we are now truthful; we don’t blame everything on them or make them out to be the only ones who made mistakes. We are stable enough to admit our wrongs and regrets. There may still be flickering questions about our past relationship and what happened, but we let them simmer. We have faith that soon, they will be gone forever.
Getting your heart broken is messy and tragic, yet it’s an absolutely incredible experience. It’s one of those rare times when you are forced to reflect deep upon yourself and to rebuild from the inside out, which is a beautiful consequence. As you reassemble your shattered heart, you come face to face with your weaknesses, and that’s scary. But once you are able to recognize and be honest with those insecurities, you get closer to true peace of mind, inner happiness, and a sturdy backbone.
Surviving a broken heart is one of the sole experiences that make us stronger. After feeling destroyed, we find courage we didn’t know we had. We realize that no matter how sad we are to lose that person, we are happy that we got a chance to run recklessly with them than never at all. We learn to cope with never knowing the answers to intensely agonizing questions such as, ‘Why not me?’
We always learn something about who we are after every heartbreaking relationship. We change things in ourselves that we want to change, and we embrace the parts of our character that we like. When we heal, we realize how much we love who we are, and therefore, we have confidence that we will find someone else who sees what we see. We come to terms with the fact that maybe we don’t really know what we want yet, or maybe we were never meant to have it with that person. Either way, with every traumatic break-up comes a better you, and that is something you can count on. "
- thought catalog
Getting your heart broken is messy and tragic, yet it’s an absolutely incredible experience. It’s one of those rare times when you are forced to reflect deep upon yourself and to rebuild from the inside out, which is a beautiful consequence. As you reassemble your shattered heart, you come face to face with your weaknesses, and that’s scary. But once you are able to recognize and be honest with those insecurities, you get closer to true peace of mind, inner happiness, and a sturdy backbone.
Surviving a broken heart is one of the sole experiences that make us stronger. After feeling destroyed, we find courage we didn’t know we had. We realize that no matter how sad we are to lose that person, we are happy that we got a chance to run recklessly with them than never at all. We learn to cope with never knowing the answers to intensely agonizing questions such as, ‘Why not me?’
We always learn something about who we are after every heartbreaking relationship. We change things in ourselves that we want to change, and we embrace the parts of our character that we like. When we heal, we realize how much we love who we are, and therefore, we have confidence that we will find someone else who sees what we see. We come to terms with the fact that maybe we don’t really know what we want yet, or maybe we were never meant to have it with that person. Either way, with every traumatic break-up comes a better you, and that is something you can count on. "
- thought catalog
It’s Really Hard To Let Go Of The People You’ve Cared About
" We’ve all been there; our friends have all been there. That inevitable moment or series of moments when you realize that, for the sake of your sanity or respect or whatever, you need to walk away. It’s something everyone talks about having done at some point. Walking away and letting go. Everyone talks about how it’s about self-respect and dignity and blah blah blah but no one ever talks about how hard it is; how hard it is to follow through with, let alone actually do. It’s not like a decision you make once and then that’s that; it’s a decision you make every single day. It’s like giving up carbs or soda or chocolate.
Sure, anyone can say they’re going to stop but they don’t take into account how much they are going to crave whatever it is they are giving up. They don’t talk about all of the late night binges or the need to throw out everything in your pantry that will create temptation. You go into it with every intention of following through. You block them and maybe everyone of their friends on social media, delete them from your phone, avoid places you might run into them but then there are the unanticipated cravings.
None of the aforementioned things are going to take the cravings away.
You’re still going to be typing out those text messages only to immediately erase them seconds after. You’re going to need to call upon friends to hijack your phone to avoid drunk calls or texts. You may even need to download one of those apps that stops you from trying. I’m not sure what’s worse, not hearing from them or hearing from them. There is nothing that compares to that feeling of butterflies you get when their name pops up on your phone but that all changes when it’s over. That feeling that once put a smile on your face now puts a lump in your throat and a knot in your stomach. You’re validated and pissed off at the same time. You love that they miss you and hate them for putting you in a compromising position.
This isn’t something that occurs only once. It’s something you battle every single day until one day, you finally don’t anymore. The hardest part is there is no text-book amount of time that tells you when it’ll all feel better. You just hear and hope that eventually it will get better.
I want people to talk about how hard it is to go days, weeks, months making the decision to STAY AWAY after you’ve chosen to walk away. I think we all deserve some kind of medal or something for staying away or perhaps just an amazing, new guy who doesn’t warrant the need for us to walk away. Walking away and staying away require effort; they require putting on your big girl pants, putting the being an adult thing into practice and ending something that needs to end.
It’s avoiding contact for days or even a week before actually ending it, as to not give the wrong impression or allow your mind to be swayed. It’s showing up with all of their stuff in hand just to avoid the painful part of dealing with it later because you know that you may not be able to follow through if that happened. It’s scheduling a time between work and other prior commitments to have “the talk.” It’s finally saying no even though you want to say yes, especially after months or years of saying yes. It’s ignoring text messages that you know will lead to relapse. It’s keeping your promise to try to stop even though you aren’t sure you do. It’s not easy. It’s hard. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s like breaking a bad habit or recovering from an addiction. From all of the stories i’ve been told about people walking away, i always thought that when it was time to walk away i would just know. I’d know and feel good about it and it’d be easy and it’s because of all of the false advertising that i’ve never been able to walk away. Now i see it for what it really is: an uphill battle, a conscious decision to say no, not only once but every day until you’ve officially moved on. Sometimes it is easy, like when someone monumentally fucks up or when you don’t really care that much anymore or didn’t care to begin with but those times are anomalies. Usually, there is much more gray area and in all of that abstraction, it’s hard to convince yourself that it’s never going to be black and white and that you need to walk away before you sink so deep that you lose yourself. You do lose yourself a little bit in the wading pool of gray area regardless of how long you’re in it but you gain a better version of yourself when you pull yourself out. The doubt will come in waves. You’ll waffle between feeling good about it and feeling the deepest levels of regret.
The truth is, you’re most likely not going to be 100% sure you are making the right decision and you are going to question that decision with every fiber of your being at some point after the fact but if somewhere in you you know that you need to walk away, it is a risk you just have to take. "
- Thought Catalog
Sure, anyone can say they’re going to stop but they don’t take into account how much they are going to crave whatever it is they are giving up. They don’t talk about all of the late night binges or the need to throw out everything in your pantry that will create temptation. You go into it with every intention of following through. You block them and maybe everyone of their friends on social media, delete them from your phone, avoid places you might run into them but then there are the unanticipated cravings.
None of the aforementioned things are going to take the cravings away.
You’re still going to be typing out those text messages only to immediately erase them seconds after. You’re going to need to call upon friends to hijack your phone to avoid drunk calls or texts. You may even need to download one of those apps that stops you from trying. I’m not sure what’s worse, not hearing from them or hearing from them. There is nothing that compares to that feeling of butterflies you get when their name pops up on your phone but that all changes when it’s over. That feeling that once put a smile on your face now puts a lump in your throat and a knot in your stomach. You’re validated and pissed off at the same time. You love that they miss you and hate them for putting you in a compromising position.
This isn’t something that occurs only once. It’s something you battle every single day until one day, you finally don’t anymore. The hardest part is there is no text-book amount of time that tells you when it’ll all feel better. You just hear and hope that eventually it will get better.
I want people to talk about how hard it is to go days, weeks, months making the decision to STAY AWAY after you’ve chosen to walk away. I think we all deserve some kind of medal or something for staying away or perhaps just an amazing, new guy who doesn’t warrant the need for us to walk away. Walking away and staying away require effort; they require putting on your big girl pants, putting the being an adult thing into practice and ending something that needs to end.
It’s avoiding contact for days or even a week before actually ending it, as to not give the wrong impression or allow your mind to be swayed. It’s showing up with all of their stuff in hand just to avoid the painful part of dealing with it later because you know that you may not be able to follow through if that happened. It’s scheduling a time between work and other prior commitments to have “the talk.” It’s finally saying no even though you want to say yes, especially after months or years of saying yes. It’s ignoring text messages that you know will lead to relapse. It’s keeping your promise to try to stop even though you aren’t sure you do. It’s not easy. It’s hard. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s like breaking a bad habit or recovering from an addiction. From all of the stories i’ve been told about people walking away, i always thought that when it was time to walk away i would just know. I’d know and feel good about it and it’d be easy and it’s because of all of the false advertising that i’ve never been able to walk away. Now i see it for what it really is: an uphill battle, a conscious decision to say no, not only once but every day until you’ve officially moved on. Sometimes it is easy, like when someone monumentally fucks up or when you don’t really care that much anymore or didn’t care to begin with but those times are anomalies. Usually, there is much more gray area and in all of that abstraction, it’s hard to convince yourself that it’s never going to be black and white and that you need to walk away before you sink so deep that you lose yourself. You do lose yourself a little bit in the wading pool of gray area regardless of how long you’re in it but you gain a better version of yourself when you pull yourself out. The doubt will come in waves. You’ll waffle between feeling good about it and feeling the deepest levels of regret.
The truth is, you’re most likely not going to be 100% sure you are making the right decision and you are going to question that decision with every fiber of your being at some point after the fact but if somewhere in you you know that you need to walk away, it is a risk you just have to take. "
- Thought Catalog
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Finally, happier. I have so many amazing friends and people in my life. It so silly to let one person who's become so insignificant allow me to forget that and be stoked and constantly thankful. I know who I am, and I'm proud of the person I'm becoming. I'm no longer questioning, why not me. It doesn't even matter. I'm better than that.
I'm better. That's my affirmation.
I have no feelings for anyone and it feels great right now to be with myself.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Pictures coming soon: Yeezus.
Plenty video's and photos I'll be uploading here from tonight. I'm going to try this new thing and use images to share my experiences as well.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
My book
My best friend is actually really encouraging me to write this book that I have in mind. I told my friend about it today jokingly, cause I don't know how people will take it if I tell them I'm seriously going to write it. But she thought it was genius. That made me so happy, she thought my idea was so great and hilarious. I'm definitely going to get on that soon.
I'm also trying to purge all of this anger, sadness and bitterness while I'm still feeling any of it. I'm not going to beat myself of for feeling it. I'm just going to let it come, embrace it. Embrace that once again I'm being a person and then heal from there. That's the only thing to do. Fighting it won't do any good and will only bring on more negativity. I deserve to be happy, I deserve someone who will continue to care about me and love me no matter what and I deserve to have friends who aren't shady as fuck (who also don't even have the balls to talk to me about it might I add. If that doesn't prove they were shady from the jump then I don't know what does).
It feels better this time because as opposed to another person I had a hard time with, I was always hoping wishing they would contact me. But this time around, the email is blocked. The number is blocked. And I don't have to worry myself over it anymore.
I'm also trying to purge all of this anger, sadness and bitterness while I'm still feeling any of it. I'm not going to beat myself of for feeling it. I'm just going to let it come, embrace it. Embrace that once again I'm being a person and then heal from there. That's the only thing to do. Fighting it won't do any good and will only bring on more negativity. I deserve to be happy, I deserve someone who will continue to care about me and love me no matter what and I deserve to have friends who aren't shady as fuck (who also don't even have the balls to talk to me about it might I add. If that doesn't prove they were shady from the jump then I don't know what does).
It feels better this time because as opposed to another person I had a hard time with, I was always hoping wishing they would contact me. But this time around, the email is blocked. The number is blocked. And I don't have to worry myself over it anymore.
Damn my power just went out from this day after tomorrow business going on. I thought I lost this. Thank you blogger for automatically saving drafts.
As I was saying, I'd be lying if I said I'm not wondering at all if he's tried but that's just how I am. The fact that I know he can't makes it an innocent curiosity. Cause I'll literally never know.
I might have said this before but I wish it was like sex and the city when Big sent all those emails every day and her assistant saved them! And she found them after. That was the best.
As you can see I can be bitter but still the hopeless romantic I've always been at the same time.
But that's not real life. And I'm forcing myself to move on to bigger and better things.
It was an experience, I learned a lot about myself and life but that chapter has ended.
Get it, chapter.. My book.
You'll see when it's done.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Thank you
This Is What Every Girl Wishes They Could Say To Their Greatest Heartbreaker
- thought catalog
I was so sure about us. I was so ready to make everything right this time. No more walls, issues, and setbacks. I was determined to never commit the same mistakes again. I loved you so much. I allowed you to be part of everything about me.
So when things didn’t work out, my world collapsed. From Day 1, I decided to fight for you. You were a lot to lose, like I told you, so I just waited. I believe I was never the clingy-needy type so I just waited for you on the sidelines, waiting for you to come back. But you didn’t. You moved on without saying a word. It was so hard for me to recover. I didn’t think I would still have a chance to be extremely happy. The hardest to let go were the memories: our laughter, our sweet nothings, our adventures, and misadventures. I believe we had so much fun together. The hardest part was accepting that you’re gone and we won’t have that much fun anymore.
I guess I really loved you too much that I forced myself to cut everything and just let you be happy. I let you move on. I just trained myself to accept everything wholeheartedly. I tried to be happy for you.Well I did become happy for you (my edit), in the long run. I was okay, in the long run.
Looking back, I still believe everything was worth it. I was happiest to be with you. I wouldn’t change anything. So I still want to thank you. Thank you for all our adventures and misadventures, everything I learned from you. Everything was worth every tear. And thank God I learned to get a hold of myself even if my world was crumbling to pieces. You made me realize that I still love myself. I also hope you find the peace, success, and love you deserve.
- thought catalog
I was so sure about us. I was so ready to make everything right this time. No more walls, issues, and setbacks. I was determined to never commit the same mistakes again. I loved you so much. I allowed you to be part of everything about me.
So when things didn’t work out, my world collapsed. From Day 1, I decided to fight for you. You were a lot to lose, like I told you, so I just waited. I believe I was never the clingy-needy type so I just waited for you on the sidelines, waiting for you to come back. But you didn’t. You moved on without saying a word. It was so hard for me to recover. I didn’t think I would still have a chance to be extremely happy. The hardest to let go were the memories: our laughter, our sweet nothings, our adventures, and misadventures. I believe we had so much fun together. The hardest part was accepting that you’re gone and we won’t have that much fun anymore.
I guess I really loved you too much that I forced myself to cut everything and just let you be happy. I let you move on. I just trained myself to accept everything wholeheartedly. I tried to be happy for you.
Looking back, I still believe everything was worth it. I was happiest to be with you. I wouldn’t change anything. So I still want to thank you. Thank you for all our adventures and misadventures, everything I learned from you. Everything was worth every tear. And thank God I learned to get a hold of myself even if my world was crumbling to pieces. You made me realize that I still love myself. I also hope you find the peace, success, and love you deserve.
Freezing rain
7am. Just finished an overnight shift. I work again at 12 at aerie.. Then again tonight overnight. Then again at aerie Sunday morning..
I'll sleep when I'm dead. Or rich.
Friday, December 20, 2013
serious change of focus
I really want to start getting my writing out there and just writing more in general. Not solely on this blog but for other websites as well. Or at least forcing myself to try and submit and keep trying and keep submitting. Even if they're constantly rejected. It'll force me to try harder and not get so sloppy and lazy. I'll be able to learn a lot from doing this. So I'm only hoping I can get serious about it. I want to start focusing on making myself better by not forgetting what I want to do and accomplish. I've allowed things and people that aren't important to the big picture of my life push aside what I would like to become my priority. Therefore the next step is taking writing for an audience seriously.
It hit me today after I lurked and saw a photo on instagram that really struck a nerve. It doesn't matter that he's moved on. This is all for the better. He's not meant to be in my life any more. From now I'm going to think about me, what I want, who I want to be and working hard to move forward to where I want to be. I want to channel all my emotion into something productive so I can start making a name for myself. I want to really have something to show for all this time I spend at home, or all of this bullshit I go through.
I need to stop looking at being single and alone so often as a bad thing or this curse I'm trying to rid myself of. I've said it before probably a million times but there needs to come a point where I'm okay being by myself. Like entirely. Where I no longer am in this default need of a significant other. That's where this new mission comes into play.
Also, fuck you instagram and my lack of will power to lurk people and see shit I don't wanna see.
It hit me today after I lurked and saw a photo on instagram that really struck a nerve. It doesn't matter that he's moved on. This is all for the better. He's not meant to be in my life any more. From now I'm going to think about me, what I want, who I want to be and working hard to move forward to where I want to be. I want to channel all my emotion into something productive so I can start making a name for myself. I want to really have something to show for all this time I spend at home, or all of this bullshit I go through.
I need to stop looking at being single and alone so often as a bad thing or this curse I'm trying to rid myself of. I've said it before probably a million times but there needs to come a point where I'm okay being by myself. Like entirely. Where I no longer am in this default need of a significant other. That's where this new mission comes into play.
Also, fuck you instagram and my lack of will power to lurk people and see shit I don't wanna see.
" We’re not stuck. Even if it feels like we are, it’s not true. We’re the opposite of stuck. As twentysomethings, we’re constantly moving — apartments, relationship, cities, jobs. Anything is possible. People are ready for you. They want to hear what you have to say. They look at you and are curious about what words are going to come out of your mouth. You’re the new generation. What do you have to say? Don’t bite your tongue. One day you’ll be pushed aside for a younger “fresher” perspective so you better get it out now. Make a mark. Make a stain. Make something. "
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Human nature is a bitch
From: The Only Thing You Have To Be Is A Person
It’s just about learning to be okay with not being okay all the time, settling into the human condition, making room for discomfort, and allowing yourself to be a person, as silly as that sounds. In fact, I have that written in chalk on the wall right next to where I’m sitting. Be a person.
That’s the simplicity of it– the root of that which most plagues us, but having to accept it is the grandest feat, one that takes lifetimes to perfect. But it’s possible. In fact, my entire transformation of self, deepening of mind and person, expanse of understanding, is that radically simple. I just learned to be okay with being a person, not a superhero, and I learned to see other people from that vantage point as well. And I think that’s the only way you can learn to love other people, honestly.
Coming to terms with the fact that there are things that might never ease up, things we have, things we’re yet to find, things that will grow with time, is the real crux of it all. Accepting this, as simply and feasibly as we can, is difficult: it closes the avenues of possibility. Avenues that would allow us to run far down and away from the truth, into stories and excuses and blame.
Nobody really has the answers, you know. You may never know what your purpose is, but that doesn’t mean you’re not living it. You will lose most of the people in your life right now. Human nature is a bitch, but so are you for not realizing that the people you care about will be gone eventually. If you want to go, you should go. Let people’s silence be your answer. Know that letting go and moving on is one tiny gesture of distracting yourself with something better on a moment to moment basis. You’re not a damaged and malfunctioning person because you feel bad or doubt yourself or still love someone or have trouble understanding or changing. That just makes you a person. We have to stop getting tied up and bound down to the verticals we associate with what’s happening in our lives, the ways in which we can convince ourselves that we are more than just the summation of our parts. The things that seem insurmountable only ever do because we’ve convinced ourselves that they’re beyond that which we’re capable of accepting. The more radically simple and honest you are about that, the more radically and simply things fall into place. Not because they’re changing, because your idea of them is.
It’s just about learning to be okay with not being okay all the time, settling into the human condition, making room for discomfort, and allowing yourself to be a person, as silly as that sounds. In fact, I have that written in chalk on the wall right next to where I’m sitting. Be a person.
That’s the simplicity of it– the root of that which most plagues us, but having to accept it is the grandest feat, one that takes lifetimes to perfect. But it’s possible. In fact, my entire transformation of self, deepening of mind and person, expanse of understanding, is that radically simple. I just learned to be okay with being a person, not a superhero, and I learned to see other people from that vantage point as well. And I think that’s the only way you can learn to love other people, honestly.
Coming to terms with the fact that there are things that might never ease up, things we have, things we’re yet to find, things that will grow with time, is the real crux of it all. Accepting this, as simply and feasibly as we can, is difficult: it closes the avenues of possibility. Avenues that would allow us to run far down and away from the truth, into stories and excuses and blame.
Nobody really has the answers, you know. You may never know what your purpose is, but that doesn’t mean you’re not living it. You will lose most of the people in your life right now. Human nature is a bitch, but so are you for not realizing that the people you care about will be gone eventually. If you want to go, you should go. Let people’s silence be your answer. Know that letting go and moving on is one tiny gesture of distracting yourself with something better on a moment to moment basis. You’re not a damaged and malfunctioning person because you feel bad or doubt yourself or still love someone or have trouble understanding or changing. That just makes you a person. We have to stop getting tied up and bound down to the verticals we associate with what’s happening in our lives, the ways in which we can convince ourselves that we are more than just the summation of our parts. The things that seem insurmountable only ever do because we’ve convinced ourselves that they’re beyond that which we’re capable of accepting. The more radically simple and honest you are about that, the more radically and simply things fall into place. Not because they’re changing, because your idea of them is.
Be a person
I can't wait for this day to be over. I'm already moving past it, which is great. I still just want to sleep until the new year but I guess making it to tomorrow will have to do too. This person just isn't meant to be apart of my life any more, that's just fact. And it's fine. It's fine that it's having an effect on me, that people's involvement in my life expire and how I deal with it is just a part of life and I'm only human. These two things are important and need to be remembered.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
This needs to stop.
I posted this on my tumblr, but I'll share here too..
This girl on my facebook, decides to rant about how girls on instagram and facebook post photo’s of themselves half naked, and in her words not mine are “slutting themselves up” for men and blah blah blah. That they should only be doing it for their boyfriends and whoever loves them. Her having an issue with that in terms of it’s just something she would never do. That’s totally fine. Her rant also included the movement women have made in the last 100 years and dates and shit and that it is setting all of us back with these photos, and that this is why we will never gain equality.
GIRL. I’m pretty sure, that is not the only reason we will not gain equality. There are 100 other reasons, why men don’t hold us as equal, whether instagram existed or not. Two, who are you to judge anyone for how they feel they want to present themselves on the social media. That’s THEIR prerogative. We need to stop saying other women are making us look bad. At this point this girl on my facebook is making herself look bad.
And with her whole historical argument, if we’ve come a long way, then we can also say that you shouldn’t be talking so negatively about other women. We should be speaking positively and holding each other up. Weather putting photos like this up makes them happy, or confident or whatever the fuck reason. It’s 2013! A girl can be smart, funny, charismatic, interesting, powerful, and in control and post whatever photo she wants. Bottom line. This person on my facebook is aiming at the idea that it’s making these girls less than. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! That this person is talking down about other girls for what they feel they want to post on their accounts isn’t helping this “movement” either.
I would love to comment this on the facebook status, but I have no care to talk to someone SO small minded. And I don’t want to start an argument. But shit like this needs to stop.
We all know I have never posted a photo like we’re referring to on any social media but if another girl wants to. ALL THE POWER TO YOU GURL. It doesn’t effect me. How you chose to get attention cause when we post ANYTHING, that’s what we’re doing it for - attention. Point blank period. Or present yourself is all you.
I’m done.
This girl on my facebook, decides to rant about how girls on instagram and facebook post photo’s of themselves half naked, and in her words not mine are “slutting themselves up” for men and blah blah blah. That they should only be doing it for their boyfriends and whoever loves them. Her having an issue with that in terms of it’s just something she would never do. That’s totally fine. Her rant also included the movement women have made in the last 100 years and dates and shit and that it is setting all of us back with these photos, and that this is why we will never gain equality.
GIRL. I’m pretty sure, that is not the only reason we will not gain equality. There are 100 other reasons, why men don’t hold us as equal, whether instagram existed or not. Two, who are you to judge anyone for how they feel they want to present themselves on the social media. That’s THEIR prerogative. We need to stop saying other women are making us look bad. At this point this girl on my facebook is making herself look bad.
And with her whole historical argument, if we’ve come a long way, then we can also say that you shouldn’t be talking so negatively about other women. We should be speaking positively and holding each other up. Weather putting photos like this up makes them happy, or confident or whatever the fuck reason. It’s 2013! A girl can be smart, funny, charismatic, interesting, powerful, and in control and post whatever photo she wants. Bottom line. This person on my facebook is aiming at the idea that it’s making these girls less than. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! That this person is talking down about other girls for what they feel they want to post on their accounts isn’t helping this “movement” either.
I would love to comment this on the facebook status, but I have no care to talk to someone SO small minded. And I don’t want to start an argument. But shit like this needs to stop.
We all know I have never posted a photo like we’re referring to on any social media but if another girl wants to. ALL THE POWER TO YOU GURL. It doesn’t effect me. How you chose to get attention cause when we post ANYTHING, that’s what we’re doing it for - attention. Point blank period. Or present yourself is all you.
I’m done.
Done. Finished. Over it. Bye
I don't care anymore. I don't care if we we ever talk again. I don't care if we ever cross paths again, if we're ever friends again. I'm done caring. I was trying not to let go purposely because I thought it was worth it. I thought you, were worth it. But I can't any more. And it's not. I wish this person all the best, but I'm done staying hopeful and contemplating continuing to fight.
I don't even know what caused this, I'm just over it. I'm not gonna be made to be the sad one or the desperate one. I'm better than that. If someone doesn't want me in their life, even for a period of time. Then maybe it's better it just stays that way. I'm not waiting around for anyone anymore. I'm not about that life. The fact that I'm even being made to wait. Just no. No.
I'm done.
Moving on.
Finally.
Something even better is gonna come along.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Who do you think you are?
11 Signs that you should walk away:
11. They do not think you are wonderful, and tell you how great you are frequently. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who treat you like you are average. You are not average, you are fabulous, and someone out there is dying to tell you.
That was the best one.
I had the best conversation with my best friend today, aka soulmate. About how there is someone who I don't even think is that amazing that I'm like stressing over, and I think I need to stop and question: who does this person think they are? Acting this way now. They are no Ryan Gosling, or Josh Hutcherson to name two men I would marry tomorrow. I didn't have any real thoughts about this person, upon first meeting them. How did it even come to this point?
They shouldn't even have the privilege or power to make me feel this way. They were the first one chasing me. Now you stop, and I'm the one left here like where did you go? Granted feelings aren't there but I see potential. I entertained the attention I was getting since every girl loves attention (for the most part, from the right person) it was a great distraction and it was fun, I reciprocated it.. Now that I care, it's gone. Every time when I actually care, this happens. It's automatic. But any way, point is what the hell.
Who do you think you are?
I need to raise my standards, walk away sooner, and remember - I'm far beyond average. No one is allowed to treat me like I'm average.
I give up. For real this time.
11. They do not think you are wonderful, and tell you how great you are frequently. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who treat you like you are average. You are not average, you are fabulous, and someone out there is dying to tell you.
That was the best one.
I had the best conversation with my best friend today, aka soulmate. About how there is someone who I don't even think is that amazing that I'm like stressing over, and I think I need to stop and question: who does this person think they are? Acting this way now. They are no Ryan Gosling, or Josh Hutcherson to name two men I would marry tomorrow. I didn't have any real thoughts about this person, upon first meeting them. How did it even come to this point?
They shouldn't even have the privilege or power to make me feel this way. They were the first one chasing me. Now you stop, and I'm the one left here like where did you go? Granted feelings aren't there but I see potential. I entertained the attention I was getting since every girl loves attention (for the most part, from the right person) it was a great distraction and it was fun, I reciprocated it.. Now that I care, it's gone. Every time when I actually care, this happens. It's automatic. But any way, point is what the hell.
Who do you think you are?
I need to raise my standards, walk away sooner, and remember - I'm far beyond average. No one is allowed to treat me like I'm average.
I give up. For real this time.
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