Banned

So other other day when I had totally fucked things up (or thought I did), and was in one of those really big ruts where I 911 called all my best friends. One of them was like you're banned from boys. Now this wasn't in a tone where it was in a judgemental-give up on them way she meant as a, just take a step back for a second cause so far things have not worked out in your favour so take a deep breath on your own.

And it was the best response, minus all the other ones from my loves that helped me calm down that was one thing I needed to hear. To just stop. I mean, I always say I will, or that I'm just going to lay low and then BAM! A cute as boy just pops up in front of me. And what? Oh they're single? Kay I'm going for it. That is my two second thought process. Unless a guy has started to pursue me first (which honestly, is a rare occasion, I'm not gonna lie to you guys).

That's pretty much why it's always been so difficult for me to literally swear them all off for a bit. Yeah I'd love to be in relationship but I'm not scared to be single, I just literally can't not go after something I see I want. And why should I not go after it? This is something about me that has it's ups and downs for sure.

But I told myself I would at least try, for a few months straight to not pursue anyone. Unless something progresses naturally. At least for now.

We'll see how this goes.